badbastion

Thank you SO MUCH everyone, for the birthday messages and comments and picspam and v-gifts and delicious fic. I had a good day :) I got steak and broccoli and cake and a balloon and a brand new, loud and strong as fuck box fan, and my panic attack at the restaurant was only very mild and short, lol, and I managed not to cry! I think this was the first birthday in 10 years I didn't cry for some reason or another. So it went down as an A+ day for me :D:D:D

Yesterday I ate my leftovers and some more cake, and cleaned the house some, and tried unsuccessfully to work on commissions. I did finish a podfic, though. And I got all my laundry done.

I've got alot of crap to do tomorrow, including picking up meds, going to the food stamps office for an appointment, cleaning the house better because I think our A/C's going out and we're going to have to get the maintenance men in poking around, so. And there's no way we can deal with no air in June in southern Arkansas, so we've got to get them in ASAP. And, I need to get back to work on commissions after all that.

But no cleaning today. I need a day to recharge and do like, nothing. I'll probably do some of the nothingat my mom's house, where their air works and they keep it nice and cool. I might do a livestream later, or in a few minutes, depending on when I want to go over there. Just some random stuff probably, maybe porn, idk. I might try to draw and find out that nothing comes out, but at least for once it'll be at a decent hour, lol! Instead of 3 am when I can't sleep haha

Thank you all for your help, kindness and good thoughts. You've really helped me out, and I can't say how much I appreciate it. You guys are the best.

We just got back from my hometown, and it was great to see my family again. Stressful for two people used to being largely by themselves to spend a week on a family of five's couches, but really great to see them still :)

It looks like we got an apartment! I'm 99% sure - just waiting for the complaince report to come back, which takes a few days, but since we didn't lie about anything and had all the paperwork done fully then it's mostly a formality, seems like. They've already told us we could move in on May 9th as long as the report comes back fine. We may be able to get in earlier, on the 1st. Yay!

We also got to see some of our old friends while we were there. It was so strange, and so wonderful, to actually be around friends. We live in a small retirement community (10,000 people, about 75% of them over 65) and we haven't been able to make friends in the three or so years we've been here.

EVEN BETTER, when we move, we'll be away from this terrible, dangerous, precarious living situation we're in. Just thinking about being in Texarkana again makes me feel FREE, which is something I'd never thought it would when we moved away years ago. I know a change in latitude doesn't always mean a change in attitude, but in this case, I think it will. I think that being around loved ones and friends, and in a town where my boyfriend might actually be able to get a job, and in an area with better mental health & social services, and away from here, is going to help both of us a lot. I worry about getting my hopes up, but I think the weight of our depression and anxiety is going to lighten quite a bit. I might even be able to draw again, lol.

I'm going to thank you all again, and I'm not going to stop being grateful. Without your help, we couldn't have made the trip to find the apartment, and we wouldn't have had the security deposit to hold the apartment, and we wouldn't have had the money for the pet deposit, which was stressing me out beyond what was rational. So we get to keep our little guys! \o/ We're gonna be squeaking by on the money, but oh man, I don't even care if we're broke as hell. We're going to get out of here.

We couldn't have done it without your donations, and I really do believe it was your good thoughts and positive energy that put us in the right place at the right time to have the apartment manager who turned us down be the kind lady who referred us to the low-income, tax-credit housing apartments where we ended up, and then to find the helpful lady at the desk who explained very clearly everything we'd need to have our application processed in as stress-free a manner as possible. I am babbling, but thank you, thank you, thank you <3

So, for the last week or so I've been trying to get back on the "draw every day" horse, and I've been partially successful. I haven't done anything post-worthy, but I've at least managed a doodle every day. The problem is, I have a hard time deciding what to draw when I'm not fandom-inspired, which I'm not right now. So I'm asking you guys for some drawing assignments!

It can be just about anything. Scenery, vehicles, animals, portraits, still life, objects, etc. I'm not asking for porn or pairing prompts or anything, but assignments for portraits/character studies are also welcome.

The shows/manga/comics I'm familiar with are, in no particular order:
Psych - Burn Notice - Supernatural - Teen Wolf - True Blood - Game of Thrones - True Detective - Brooklyn Nine Nine - Naruto - Bleach - Attack on Titan - Anything by Junji Itou - Sherlock - Firefly - Harry Potter - Batman (films, cartoons and comics) - Spiderman (films, cartoons and a little bit of comics) - Marvel Universe (films only) - LOOOOTS of horror movies - and I can't think of any more off the top of my head. ETA: American Horror Story - Eyeshield 21 - Hemlock Grove - Death Note

I'll probably stick these in a randomizer and pull one out whenever I want something to draw :)

Please don't give me anything complicated, haha. I can't guarantee that I'll post these or even finish them, but it'll give me some things to try when I'm short on ideas.

Your help is appreciated! :)

I am super super lucky, because fantamae recorded my very first SPN fic And you would be a fool, a fic I wrote with such gleeeee, and have such loving memories of. And she did such an amazing job of it! :o I love it so much :D She makes it so FUN, I just keep listening to it. I'm so excited about this :D

Podficcing has me by the baaaallllls right now, you guys. Don't get me wrong, I love it! It's just, I get fixated on one aspect of creativity and I hang out there for a while. I've joined at least one podficcing challenge in my frenzy to record ALL the fics. I'm learning so much! I love the learning as much as I love the doing :) You guys should try it, at least once. However, I do understand that a lot of people don't care for podfic, and that's ok, too.

Are there any of you who would offer me permission to rifle through your fics, and try to record one if it calls to me? That is, if you don't already offer blanket permission. But you could point that out if you want to, as well :) You guys know there are certain pairings and things I like, but I'm also interesting in trying new things. So anybody can leave me a comment, even if it just says "ok", and I may rummage through your bits and pieces ;D

Aaaand, if you want to make your fic available to anyone who wants to record it, you can go to this Blanket Permission List post at cakehole_club and leave a comment. That way you might one day be surprised by podfic in your inbox :D Some podficcing challenges are coming up as well, so podficcers will certainly be looking for a variety of material to work with.

I have a couple of podfics I have to edit, then post. (I wish I were actually good at graphic design! lol. I can draw, but when I try to make graphics, they're just kind of bleh.) Podficcing is just as, if not more, time consuming as art is, especially anything over ~2000 words. But it's really gratifying, because I eased into fandom by listening to podfic, and I listened to SO MUCH of it, and it makes me so happy to think that others are listening to my recordings, too :)

So yeah, if you like de podfics, there will be more. And if you don't care for them, or both, I'm gonna try to livestream either tomorrow or the next day to flex my drawing muscle so it doesn't atrophy, lol.