badbastion

about quitting drinking, so fair warning. I'll mark each sobriety post with the number of days sober I have and place possibly everything under a cut, so it'll be avoidable if you want to avoid it.

I'll also be crossposting to LJ. I just want to have this on my major platforms, and I keep forgetting to use DW. So I'll be using it.

All right then, later!

Like the title says, is anyone livestreaming or group chatting tonight? I've got a lonely night ahead of me and would like to spend it with people :)

If nobody is LSing or group chatting tonight, would anyone like me to set up a livestream? I probably won't be drawing, since I can't draw for these last few months or so, but we could chat and stuff :)

ETA: Never mind about livestreaming, apparently LS switched to a paying model, and I can't afford $42 a month to chat on livestream. Saaad. But if anyone still wants to chat, i can use join.me or something :) ETA2: Or if you're on skype, we can chat there!

ETA3: Good night, and have a happy and safe New Year! <3

I've been off my meds since the end of October. I'm back on most of them now, or reasonable facsimiles thereof, thanks to a very sympathetic doctor and Walmart's $4 scrip plan. One of them was still $40, but I had to have it, it's my most helpful one. But I'm still not right in the head. This sucks.

I'm working like 15 hours a week at a local pizza place, and I've already called in a few times in the two months I've been working there. I had a full-on, hyperventilating, sobbing panic freakout at work the other day, and I had to explain to my boss what my deal was. She was also sympathetic, but it was so shaming and embarrassing.

She actually wanted to promote me before this happened. I don't know where that stands now.

So yeah, I'm just freaking out now. I have a few days off to get used to the new truncated meds (they couldn't get me back on two of them because the price was prohibitive, like $900 each or something -__-) but hopefully I'll be better when I go back to work on Tuesday.

I wish I had a more positive post, hopefully I will soon.

holiday love meme 2016
my thread here

I need some love right now! I will try to go through and leave some love on other people's threads : )

So, we got moved in and are still unpacking. We're most of the way done, just getting the last touches. The drive up here was pretty uneventful, save for the part where we had to put the cats in their carrier for the trip and they freaked the fuck out and started hissing and growling like little wild things. It was scary; I was afraid they'd be forever changed, but they calmed down after a few days in the new apartment, and are back to normal now, phew!

We've finally got internet! It was tough going so long without it, but hey, we got a lot of unpacking done, lol. There is no waaaay I'm ever going to catch up on my flist backlog, so if there's anything I should know about, please link me to the post :)

In other news, my grandmother died the day before we moved. She hung on for a few painful days in the hospital, and it was almost a relief when she passed. She was really not doing well, in a lot of pain and almost completely unresponsive by the end. I'm glad I got to see her while she was still lucid, and to tell her I loved her and hear her tell me back. I missed her memorial, but my mother tells me it was lovely. I did get to go to a big family lunch the day she passed away, so I was able to see a lot of my big extended family before I left. So, good things and bad things. I'll miss my Memaw. She was a really big part of my life growing up, and though we drifted apart as I grew into adulthood and I never saw her as often as I should have, I still loved her a lot. But she lived a long, full life, leaving something like 7 children, 12 grandchildren, and 6 great-grandchildren who all loved her behind. I'm coping better than expected. Maybe it just hasn't really hit me yet, in the midst of all the moving chaos. Or maybe I've already grieved and don't realize it. I mostly wish I could be there for my mom, who's really broken up over her passing.

So flist, how are you doing? How's things? What big fandom events am I missing out on? I've missed you guys! <3

(P.S. Happy birthday to dolnmoon!!! I hope you have a fantastic day :) Hugs and kisses!)

So, after being robbed at gunpoint in the parking lot of my apartment complex, my boyfriend and I decided we needed to get the fuck out of here. His mother is helping us with some moving costs, and she also helped me compose the letter to the office explaining that we need to leave and asking that we be released from the remainder of the lease.

Good news! Not only did they waive the last month and a half of the lease, they're letting us just pay up to our move-out date (Sept. 15) instead of the full month of September. So that gives us a little extra to cover electric deposit, and maybe internet start-up costs. I don't remember how much these things are... we'll find out today when J calls.

I've been all over the place emotionally/mentally. I've been sleeping in like, 2-4 hour shifts, and the amount of shifts I have each day varies. I fall asleep, and then I wake up, all groggy and grumpy. We've been packing and cleaning, and I have days where I work all day and it feels like I've gotten nothing done. But I also have satisfying days when it feels like I got a good chunk of work done.

When I can't sleep at night I watch shitty horror movies on Netflix lol. I have seen some stinkers in the past two weeks, haha. I've been trying to watch Stranger Things because I hear good things about it, but I just can't concentrate enough to remember what's happened in past episodes, piece things together in a 13-episode series. I'll probably watch it when we get to the new town we're moving to.

If you want my new address, leave me a comment or send me a PM. We'll be there on the 16th of this month.

Sadly, I haven't been able to keep up with LJ lately. I hope everyone's doing okay, and that fandom is still chugging along. I've already packed my tablet and my laptop, and I don't have any fics I'm working on, and I'm a little sad that SPN fandom is not so important to me right now.

I think I'm really depressed. Even before the robbery I was listless and sleeping too much and I just didn't give a damn about a lot of stuff that I really should give a damn about, and since the robbery it's been even worse. It doesn't help that I have a tendency to get restless at night, and now I just can't make myself go outside after dark, so all I can do is like, pace around and try to find things to do. I usually can find something to do - it's not like there's not a lot of packing and cleaning yet to be done - but it's unsatisfying. I'd much rather take a drive.

I am looking forward to being moved, though. We're moving from the 2nd most dangerous city in Texas to a town where people still leave their doors unlocked, and there's like, almost zero crime. Maybe a few thefts a year. Plus the place we're moving to has a nice public swimming pool with good adult swim hours, a lot of good thrift shops, lots of lakes and rivers within close driving distance, low cost of living, and a good mental health support system. We'll also be on the bottom floor of an apt. complex instead of the top floor, so I can play my dance games. I wish we were there already.

Anyway, I miss you guys, and I hope to be more active in fandom again once we get settled in. Love your faces <3

Probably NSFW! music playing, watch your volume!

livestream.com/badbastion

Tonight I'm just going to try to actually have fun drawing, so I will be working on who knows what! could be any fandom. I may be asking for prompts, and maybe working off my prompt journal from a while back. Drop in if you like, I'd love to have the company! <3

(And I know Show is on, but please no spoilers! I won't be able to watch until tomorrow night)

You guys you guys I got more art for quicky_bang! The lovely milly_gal stepped up this time and claimed my fic Simulacrum :)

You can find the art here (NSFW!)

Go and check it out and give her some love :) Thanks so much, milly! I'll be going in later to add links to the art I've received for the quicky_bang in my fic posts. How exciting!

p.s. quicky_bang still needs artists. It's a low-pressure, one-month turnaround event, with some great fics up for arting. Go and give it a look, if you haven't already!