badbastion | (no subject)

I've been off my meds since the end of October. I'm back on most of them now, or reasonable facsimiles thereof, thanks to a very sympathetic doctor and Walmart's $4 scrip plan. One of them was still $40, but I had to have it, it's my most helpful one. But I'm still not right in the head. This sucks.

I'm working like 15 hours a week at a local pizza place, and I've already called in a few times in the two months I've been working there. I had a full-on, hyperventilating, sobbing panic freakout at work the other day, and I had to explain to my boss what my deal was. She was also sympathetic, but it was so shaming and embarrassing.

She actually wanted to promote me before this happened. I don't know where that stands now.

So yeah, I'm just freaking out now. I have a few days off to get used to the new truncated meds (they couldn't get me back on two of them because the price was prohibitive, like $900 each or something -__-) but hopefully I'll be better when I go back to work on Tuesday.

I wish I had a more positive post, hopefully I will soon.

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I'm so sorry I wasn't about earlier bb, it was ass'o'clock here. *hugs*
These things happen with work hun and I know how embarrassed you must feel but at least she was sympathetic and not a cow, which so many people can be in that situation ♥ I'm wishing you good health hun, always xx

It's ok bb! I realized after I sent you a message that it was a weird time for you : ) Yeah, I had another bad day at work today, and my boss was realyl sweet about it, which made me feel better.

Thank you <3 *hugs*

That's something, seriously. So many employers are complete arseholes when it comes to health issues of any kind but mental health ones! *hugs* ♥

Try not to freak out too much, though I know just saying that isn't much help. But please don't be embarrassed about having a panic attack - would you be embarrassed or ashamed if you'd had a heart attack, or one of your lungs had collapsed or something like that? No, of course you wouldn't - because they would have just hit you out of the blue, with nothing you could have done to stop them. The panic is the same thing.

I hope the meds work for you and things do start turning around soon. You deserve a bit of luck!

It's really hard not to freak out, or to be embarrassed. Like, heart attacks or collapsed lungs don't have the same social stigma as panic attacks/craziness, and I can't help but to take that into account. I'm trying, though. I had another fit today at work, and that's not helping anything.

Thank you! I hope they work out too, and soon. I appreciate it! <3

I am very glad to here you're finding the right cocktail. Being without meds is bad...very bad. I know from personal experience.

You know how to reach me if you need to. I don't know exactly what you're going through, but if anyone understands, I do.

Pajama party in the blanket fort!

Yeah, the right cocktail is elusive, lol. I think I was mostly on it before my insurance pooped out, and now I'm on a version that's missing my antipsychotic and one of my antidepressants, so we'll see how that goes. I feel like I'm still waiting for the meds to kick back in, they're not quite here yet.

I'll probably email you some crazy rant in the next few days lol, hope you don't mind.

I'll bring my new Squirtle slippers!!!

Sending you all the hugs and hopes that things improve now with the meds and an understanding boss *HUGSSSSSSSSSSSSS*

Thank you so much! *huuuuuggggggsssssss*

I'm glad to hear your boss was sympathetic to you, but you have no need to feel embarrassed or ashamed about this episode. Health issues of various sorts happen all the time.

I hope your new meds help - sending positive thoughts your way x

Thank you so much! Ah, it's hard to stay positive about panic attacks though - mental health issues are so stigmatized, it's hard to get away from the "crazy" label. I'm trying, though. I still haven't revealed that I'm on disability, I don't know if I should or not.

Thank you! *hugs*

*hugs*

*hugs back* thank you!

You are being so brave and strong. Keep fighting. I hope it will get easier and easier in the future.
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