badbastion: (default)
Stolen from [livejournal.com profile] chemm80 with some alterations

I keep saying I'm going to post more and not actually doing anything about it, so let's start 2017 off in a positive way with a Pay It Forward meme. The first 6 people to comment (and more if I can manage it) will receive a surprise from me at some point in 2017 — anything from a book, a ticket, something home-grown or made, a sketch, a postcard, absolutely any surprise! It will happen when the mood comes over me and I find something that I believe would suit you and make you happy.

(If you don't like surprises and would rather have something off a wishlist and/or some warning, let me know in your comment. The goal is to make you happy.)

If you can, post this in your own journal and pay it forward. Let's do more kind and loving things for each other in 2017, without any reason other than to make each other smile and show that we think of each other.

Screening comments in case you want to leave an address or a wishlist link. OR BOTH. DUN DUN DUN

Or! You can email me at badbastion at gmail.com and I will also get that :)
badbastion: (default)
So, we got moved in and are still unpacking. We're most of the way done, just getting the last touches. The drive up here was pretty uneventful, save for the part where we had to put the cats in their carrier for the trip and they freaked the fuck out and started hissing and growling like little wild things. It was scary; I was afraid they'd be forever changed, but they calmed down after a few days in the new apartment, and are back to normal now, phew!

We've finally got internet! It was tough going so long without it, but hey, we got a lot of unpacking done, lol. There is no waaaay I'm ever going to catch up on my flist backlog, so if there's anything I should know about, please link me to the post :)

In other news, my grandmother died the day before we moved. She hung on for a few painful days in the hospital, and it was almost a relief when she passed. She was really not doing well, in a lot of pain and almost completely unresponsive by the end. I'm glad I got to see her while she was still lucid, and to tell her I loved her and hear her tell me back. I missed her memorial, but my mother tells me it was lovely. I did get to go to a big family lunch the day she passed away, so I was able to see a lot of my big extended family before I left. So, good things and bad things. I'll miss my Memaw. She was a really big part of my life growing up, and though we drifted apart as I grew into adulthood and I never saw her as often as I should have, I still loved her a lot. But she lived a long, full life, leaving something like 7 children, 12 grandchildren, and 6 great-grandchildren who all loved her behind. I'm coping better than expected. Maybe it just hasn't really hit me yet, in the midst of all the moving chaos. Or maybe I've already grieved and don't realize it. I mostly wish I could be there for my mom, who's really broken up over her passing.

So flist, how are you doing? How's things? What big fandom events am I missing out on? I've missed you guys! <3

(P.S. Happy birthday to [livejournal.com profile] dolnmoon!!! I hope you have a fantastic day :) Hugs and kisses!)
badbastion: (default)
I'll be throwing away my old broken down computer table and packing up my computer in a day or two, so one more post before I move :)

Packing and cleaning is stressful as hell, but it's going as smoothly as that stuff can go. I'm confident we'll have at least half a day to rest up before the day of the move.

Still having trouble sleeping, but I sleep when I can and work when I can.

I really look forward to being in the new place. Not only does it have all those other positives I talked about, it's also generally at least 10 degrees cooler than it is here. I'm excited about getting an actual autumn.

I'm on the fence about signing up for two current SPN challenges/exchanges. I guess once I move and get unpacked I'll see how I feel.

I'm kind of interested in Stucky right now, and would love to have some good Stucky podfics to listen to for when I can't sleep/when I'm working around the apartment/while I'm on the road. Any recs? If not, I might just go to the podfic site and search for some.

I still miss you guys. Hopefully I'll be back around soon in a more active role on LJ. And I'll figure out what this imzy? thing is. And I'd like to do the 100 days of Happy meme because I need the positivity in my life/on my LJ, but I'll probably knock it down to 15 or 20 days.

I'll see you guys in a week or so!
badbastion: (default)
So, after being robbed at gunpoint in the parking lot of my apartment complex, my boyfriend and I decided we needed to get the fuck out of here. His mother is helping us with some moving costs, and she also helped me compose the letter to the office explaining that we need to leave and asking that we be released from the remainder of the lease.

Good news! Not only did they waive the last month and a half of the lease, they're letting us just pay up to our move-out date (Sept. 15) instead of the full month of September. So that gives us a little extra to cover electric deposit, and maybe internet start-up costs. I don't remember how much these things are... we'll find out today when J calls.

I've been all over the place emotionally/mentally. I've been sleeping in like, 2-4 hour shifts, and the amount of shifts I have each day varies. I fall asleep, and then I wake up, all groggy and grumpy. We've been packing and cleaning, and I have days where I work all day and it feels like I've gotten nothing done. But I also have satisfying days when it feels like I got a good chunk of work done.

When I can't sleep at night I watch shitty horror movies on Netflix lol. I have seen some stinkers in the past two weeks, haha. I've been trying to watch Stranger Things because I hear good things about it, but I just can't concentrate enough to remember what's happened in past episodes, piece things together in a 13-episode series. I'll probably watch it when we get to the new town we're moving to.

If you want my new address, leave me a comment or send me a PM. We'll be there on the 16th of this month.

Sadly, I haven't been able to keep up with LJ lately. I hope everyone's doing okay, and that fandom is still chugging along. I've already packed my tablet and my laptop, and I don't have any fics I'm working on, and I'm a little sad that SPN fandom is not so important to me right now.

I think I'm really depressed. Even before the robbery I was listless and sleeping too much and I just didn't give a damn about a lot of stuff that I really should give a damn about, and since the robbery it's been even worse. It doesn't help that I have a tendency to get restless at night, and now I just can't make myself go outside after dark, so all I can do is like, pace around and try to find things to do. I usually can find something to do - it's not like there's not a lot of packing and cleaning yet to be done - but it's unsatisfying. I'd much rather take a drive.

I am looking forward to being moved, though. We're moving from the 2nd most dangerous city in Texas to a town where people still leave their doors unlocked, and there's like, almost zero crime. Maybe a few thefts a year. Plus the place we're moving to has a nice public swimming pool with good adult swim hours, a lot of good thrift shops, lots of lakes and rivers within close driving distance, low cost of living, and a good mental health support system. We'll also be on the bottom floor of an apt. complex instead of the top floor, so I can play my dance games. I wish we were there already.

Anyway, I miss you guys, and I hope to be more active in fandom again once we get settled in. Love your faces <3
badbastion: (default)
Hello friends!

It has been a loooong time since I've posted to LJ. I hope none of you have worried; I've gotten two emails asking about me, and I'm okay! I'm alive and healthy. My boyfriend and cats are alive and healthy. I don't have any art or fics to post - I have two commissions, but they're Destiel, and one is private, and I'm not sure if I want to share those with the general viewing public.

My only problem is my depression. It seems like, no matter what meds I'm on, the depression will. not. go. away. It's frustrating as hell. I'm on Prozac now instead of... something, I can't remember what they took me off of last... but it's killing me. I don't want to draw, I don't want to write, I don't want to do anything but sleep. I've been sleeping 12-14 hours a day, which I hate, but that's the only thing I can do right now. I have an appointment with my meds doc in 2 weeks, but I don't want to switch meds, because I'm afraid things will get even worse :/

I'm seriously behind on commissions and auction works, but I do plan on getting those done relatively soon.

Sooo yeah, I'm alive. But struggling. I haven't been on LJ much lately, haven't really had the time to spend here. How are you guys doing? Have I missed anything important?
badbastion: (default)
I'm alive, I swear!

I've had three people ask about me in the past week, so I figure it's time for a brief update.

I've been kind of taking a break from my computer. It feels like I've been sick forever when in reality I've been sick, then gotten better, then gotten sick again over and over. Right now I feel like I've got pneumonia or the flu or something, but I don't have a fever, just everything else. So it hasn't been all sick days, but enough that I'm constantly worn down. I've also been depressed like nobody's business. So all socializing, internet or rl, has been unappealing to me. I keep hoping I'll come out of this funk and have a few *up* days to balance it out, but if wishes were fishes, you know? As it is now, I spend most of my time sleeping and/or listening to horror podcasts/audiobooks.

I know I have outstanding commissions. I fully intend to get to them asap. Things have just conspired to keep me art-blocked and tired and not in any good mental place to be creative. I'm so sorry for the delay, those of you who have been waiting.

My Christmas day was good thanks for my boyfriend being awesome, and my New Year's Eve was okay, but other than that, I'm glad 2015 is over. Hopefully 2016 will give me an upswing soon.

I do miss you guys, and I'm sorry I haven't been around to read and comment and participate in fannish things, or other things. Hopefully I'll be back on my feet sooner than later, and I can join the fun again.
badbastion: (default)
I drank some coffee because I was tired but couldn't sleep, so I wanted to livestream, but I didn't want to pass out within 30 minutes of starting. However, my internet's acting up, so I couldn't livestream. Now I don't know what to do with myself.

I have an idea for an original story I want to write, but I don't know where to start. I know that excessive exposition infodump isn't the best way to begin a story, but I'm so used to fanfic, where everybody knows the world you're writing in, and you don't need to explain things. I guess I'll go on a "how to write o-fic tips" search soon.

Being good at art continues to elude me. I have been drawing every day, however, even if it's just for a few minutes, so I'm hoping something will catch on soon in my brain and I can get to my commissions.

Thanks for all the love on [livejournal.com profile] milly_gal's love meme <3<3<3 It's really made my days! :D

I guess I'm gonna read a little bit and try to get some sleep. Good night f-list!
badbastion: (default)
Good news! My boyfriend will be getting his first disability check at the first of next month :)

We don't know when he's getting his backpay, but it's not going to be much as he's not getting much monthly (but enough to get us by! \o/) The backpay's going toward work on our car, which is fine, because the car needs the work and we wouldn't be able to do it otherwise :)

Thanks to all you kind and giving souls who helped us out through our time of trouble. Without your generosity, I don't know where we'd be right now. Or how we'd get there.

In other news, I've been very depressed for months now. I had a few days where I thought I was starting to see the light, but nope, back in the hole. I'm not going to talk too much about that, but it *has* been affecting my drawing (if you've noticed, I haven't been a posting machine lately.) I've been hardcore artblocked for a couple of months. /o\

So commissions are taking longer than expected. Those of you who have commissioned me, please be patient - I never intended to just take the money and run. I may have to do some self-indulgent arting to get the juices to flow again, if they will flow anytime soon, so if you see non-commissioned stuff pop up, that's what's going on.

If you commissioned me and you'd like a refund because you don't want the wait, that's entirely understandable, and I'd be happy to work with you. Just send me a PM or an email. Though please bear in mind that you may not be the only one wanting a refund, so I may have to spread them out over time or set up payment plans, and I won't be able to send out any money back until next month. I hope that'll work out okay with everyone involved.

In OTHER other news, I can't wait for the Hellatus to be over! Only one more month! :D The Darkness, here we come!
badbastion: (default)
A huge THANK YOU!!! to the people who helped me out this week. I'm constantly amazed and humbled at the kindness and generosity that can be found in fandom. I've tried to thank everyone personally, but in two cases I couldn't, so: thank you too, I really, really appreciate it and it really helps out a lot.

Without your help, we might be sitting in the dark with no A/C in the south, which is just asking for a heatstroke. We even have some left over for groceries :D

So once again, thank you so much for your help. You all are lifesavers <3
badbastion: (default)
I haven't been around much lately - my sister had a yard sale last weekend and I sold some stuff in it, made a little bit of extra money. I helped them prepare and run it, and I am beyond exhausted, still. She did really well, enough to give her boys a good birthday party this coming weekend, and it was just really hard being around all those people out in the heat. I'm a little surprised at how much it sapped me, and how long it's taking to recharge. So I'm not gonna be around for a little longer, I think... even the internet is exhausting to me right now, lol. So if I missed an important post, please let me know and I'll check it out. Otherwise, I'll probably be around more in about a week.
badbastion: (default)
Thank you SO MUCH everyone, for the birthday messages and comments and picspam and v-gifts and delicious fic. I had a good day :) I got steak and broccoli and cake and a balloon and a brand new, loud and strong as fuck box fan, and my panic attack at the restaurant was only very mild and short, lol, and I managed not to cry! I think this was the first birthday in 10 years I didn't cry for some reason or another. So it went down as an A+ day for me :D:D:D

Yesterday I ate my leftovers and some more cake, and cleaned the house some, and tried unsuccessfully to work on commissions. I did finish a podfic, though. And I got all my laundry done.

I've got alot of crap to do tomorrow, including picking up meds, going to the food stamps office for an appointment, cleaning the house better because I think our A/C's going out and we're going to have to get the maintenance men in poking around, so. And there's no way we can deal with no air in June in southern Arkansas, so we've got to get them in ASAP. And, I need to get back to work on commissions after all that.

But no cleaning today. I need a day to recharge and do like, nothing. I'll probably do some of the nothingat my mom's house, where their air works and they keep it nice and cool. I might do a livestream later, or in a few minutes, depending on when I want to go over there. Just some random stuff probably, maybe porn, idk. I might try to draw and find out that nothing comes out, but at least for once it'll be at a decent hour, lol! Instead of 3 am when I can't sleep haha
badbastion: (default)
First off, let me thank my flist SO MUCH for using LJ-cuts for spoilery talk. I haven't seen the finale yet - will see it tomorrow, I think - and being able to look at LJ without being spoilered has been FANTASTIC. You guys are the best.

Now here's what the post is about. Last night I was recording some podfic and having quite a bit of fun with it, and then I hit a snag where I stumbled over the same phrase about ten times. For a second, I was like WHY DO I EVEN PODFIC WHEN I CAN'T EVEN TALK RIGHT!! I got over it quickly, because I remembered that that's actually why I podfic! :)

This got pretty dang rambly, lol. )

So if you've ever wondered where my accent is from, it's from Texas. I actually hear it sometimes, in the way I say "I" and a few other words, and sometimes when I do voices, especially Dean's. For all I know, it actually does sound like a Texas accent, and I've been silly for worrying about it all my life. ...Or, for all I know, I still "talk funny," I've just gotten over worrying about it through podficcing.

If you've ever left a kind comment about my podfics or my voice, THANK YOU SO MUCH. I treasure these comments, not just because I get fewer comments on my podfic than on anything else (that's just the way podficcing goes) but because you're telling me hey, you don't sound funny! You sound good enough for me to tell you so! It makes me happy :D

Now I'm curious about my podficcing flisties. Why did you get into reading podfic?
badbastion: (default)
The "Yawn" has nothing to do with the Love Meme!

a little rambling, some personal stuff )

The love meme has really been a nice boost though, oh man, and it's really helped me out <3 Thank you for all the kind things you've said! It's such a beautiful idea, and I love reading all the comments everyone leaves for everyone. I need to go and look at it again and see who else has posted since last I checked. If you're in there and I missed you, I still love you! I love all you guys <3 The SPN community is so wonderful :)
badbastion: (default)
Snagged from [livejournal.com profile] amber1960 because - positivity rules, dudes!

List 10 things you are loving, right now, this very moment:

1: It's finally (almost) fall. Temps are still in the 70s midday, but at night it's been getting down to the 40s and 50s. I can't wait to be able to wear my cold weather clothes, and to snuggle up in blankets.

2: Watching SPN with my mom. She's hilarious, and she totally gets into it, yelling at the screen and everything.

3: My cats are starting to grow in their winter coats, and they're getting all soft and silky.

4: spn-reversebang! I loved watching the claims, and I felt so flattered that several people wanted my art.

5: My LJ friends are so awesome and supportive.

6: I got a solid 4.5 hours of sleep last night. This is a big deal.

7: My mother-in-law send us 3 big boxes of food things. It's mostly snacks and some macaroni and spaghetti, but that's snacks and macaroni and spaghetti we don't have to buy. We have 12 pounds of Twizzlers, lol.

8: My nephews and I are finally getting close. They hug me when I go over to visit, and Jack has told me a few times that he loves me. He's also told my sister that he missed me when i didn't visit for a few days. They're adorable.

9: I feel like I can draw today. Gonna try to livestream later.

10: I'm reading Stephen King books again, and it's been so long that he's put out several new ones since last I read him. I look forward to reading them.

Thank you!

Oct. 28th, 2014 02:53 pm
badbastion: (default)
Thank you all for your help, kindness and good thoughts. You've really helped me out, and I can't say how much I appreciate it. You guys are the best.
badbastion: (default)
Hello all!

It's so great being back home that I've been neglecting my online activities. I've tried to skim through my flist, and I've bookmarked a few fics to read, but other than that I've been going to the beach and hanging out with my family and stuff. It's so great :D

There are, however, not-so-great things about being out in public. One of them is that in the South (and probably everywhere else) people are opinionated and feel entitled to share their opinions with complete strangers, no matter how offensive @_@ So I went with my sister to Boy Scout camp to pick up a nephew's fishing rod that he lost, and while I was waiting, I stepped out of the car to smoke and had this awkward conversation with another smoking man.

under the cut for hateful language and talk of sexuality )

Commissions! I'm working on them. Life got really busy last week, but I'll be putting my nose to the grindstone this week and getting some serious progress made. If you're reading this, feel free to prod me in a week if you want to know where I am with your commission. Otherwise, if I don't have a rough sketch or any progress to show you within a week's time, I'll email you and let you know I haven't forgotten you. Even if you're not reading this, lol.

One more thing! I have a very special place in my heart for this meme, because it was here that I posted my first two pictures and my first fic in the SPN fandom. It's a great meme and it produces some wonderful fanworks, and I think EVERYBODY should take part in it.



A Dean-focused h/c comment fic & art meme
[Click on the image to go to the meme.]

Banner courtesy of [livejournal.com profile] kalliel


Go Go Prompt and Fill! :D
badbastion: (default)
I got so many lovely messages and gifts yesterday! Thanks to everyone who sent me a birthday message, and thanks to [livejournal.com profile] milly_gal for the picspam, thanks to [livejournal.com profile] amber1960 for the adorable picture, thanks to [livejournal.com profile] dont_hate_me01 for the v-gift, and thanks to [livejournal.com profile] dolnmoon and [livejournal.com profile] memoonster for the gift :D

I'm settling in to my new place still, and it was wonderful to be able to spend my birthday with my family. I slept in, watched a little Walking Dead, had Chinese lunch with my sister, watched my nephews play in the pool (and yelled at them for putting sand in it lol) and then invented the Butt Cannon with them (farts flying in everyone's faces!!!), had burgers for dinner, cuddled extensively with my boyfriend (who's working his first week at his new job, yay!) then had cake while I forced my mom and sister to watch Teen Wolf with me, lol. We're about to get to the Season 2 finale, and they were so eager to find out what the (thing) was and (who) was (what)ing it. It got me all excited too. (I've tried to sell them on Supernatural, but it's 2spooky for my sister.)

I also want to draw your attention to a new comm!

It's basically a multi-fandom pornfest, with some possible upcoming challenges and things, and I'm hoping it'll give me the impetus I need to pick up my tablet and start drawing again. I sooo miss drawing, but I haven't found my groove again. I'll find it eventually :) Hopefully sooner than later!

Thanks again to everyone, those who made my birthday brighter and those who helped me get here so that I could spend my birthday around people I love :) Funds are currently stretched too thin for me to have gotten any gifts or have a party-party, but we're planning on me having a second birthday the weekend after my bf gets his first paycheck. Two birthdays in a month=major win \o/
badbastion: (default)
omg i have internet again :o :o :o

I've been without for two weeks, and it's so great to be able to log on again. I have so much catching up to do!!!

Starting with catching up on SPN. I haven't watched the last four episodes, and I'm trying to watch them now. Had to skip Bloodlines, because there was no sound? but I'm watching the King of Hell episode right now. I've already been (small) spoilered for the season finale because I was dumb enough to log into tumblr, lol, but I don't feel upset. It was my fault, oops.

I look forward to getting caught up on everything, and going through LJ and reading through what I might have missed. I hope I'll be able to anyway! And LJ had an update? I feel like I've been away for months, and everything's changed!

No need to reply to this, I'm just excited :)
badbastion: (default)
So, we're in the apartment, we've got the truck unloaded and returned, and we've got a lot of boxes to unpack. So the hard part is over, yay! We're out of the toxic and dangerous environment we were in, and it already feels so much better. I've been visiting with my family, and I actually get to spend Mother's Day with my mom :)

We don't have internet yet, and I'm not sure when we'll get it. I'm borrowing my sister's computer right now. I hope we get hooked up soon, because I'm going through withdrawals, lol. So, I won't be around much for a while. I guess there is a good side to it; without distracting internets, I'll be able to focus on unpacking.

Thank you all again for your help; we couldn't have gotten here without you. I appreciate it so much, you don't even know. You're all amazing <3

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